Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Attention all airlines

Anyone who has traveled through international airports has been subjected to the ubiquitous message "attention all passengers". Right?
Well, I would like to post here an "attention all airlines" message that I would like all airlines to take very seriously. It goes something like this:

Attention all airlines:

  • please hire gate staff that can pronounce whatever foreign language you decide to use in your announcements in a clear, paced, intelligible manner! Actually a bit of training for your current staff would go a long way!
  • please hire gate people who can moderate the intensity of their speech. The more they scream into their microphones the more echo and reverberation they produce and the less we the passengers can understand them.
  • please avoid long-winded messages. They are not understood by most passengers. Stick to the basic information. For example: boarding all rows from 25 through 35. That is it! No need for frills.
  • please regulate the pressure and flow of all toilet faucets (taps) in all your airplanes so they do not splatter all over your passengers when they try to wash their hands (not their shirts/blouses). This is very annoying and unnecessary. It does not require high technology to accomplish this.
  • thank you for accepting me as a passenger.
I know all this sounds rather sarcastic but I could not help myself!

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