Attention all airports

Anyone who has traveled through international airports has been subjected to the ubiquitous message "attention all passengers". Right?

  

Well, I would like to post here an "attention all airports" message that I would like all airports to take very seriously. It goes something like this:

Attention all airports:

• please fix the acoustics of all the gate and check-in areas. They all suffer from hideous echo and reverberation problems that render all messages annoyingly unintelligible! Especially when we need them most!
• please install microphone volume controls on all public announcement equipment. All public announcements are made in a "screaming voice" level that simply worsens the poor acoustic conditions of all your concourses.
• please install recorded messages at all your gate and check-in areas. It would solve the poor language skills problems of most airline gate personnel (see my "Attention all airlines" post) and address the "screaming voice" volume problems too.
• please regulate the pressure and flow of all your toilet faucets (taps) so they do not splatter all over your passengers when they try to wash their hands (not their shirts). This is very annoying and unnecessary. It does not require high technology to accomplish this.
• thank you for tolerating me as a passenger.

I know all this sounds rather sarcastic but I could not help myself! Most travelers do know that these problems plague even the most modern airports (e.g. Dubai International) let alone the older ones.

Attention all airlines

Anyone who has traveled through international airports has been subjected to the ubiquitous message "attention all passengers". Right?

  

Well, I would like to post here an "attention all airlines" message that I would like all airlines to take very seriously. It goes something like this:

Attention all airlines:

• please hire gate staff that can pronounce whatever foreign language you decide to use in your announcements in a clear, paced, intelligible manner! Actually a bit of training for your current staff would go a long way!
• please hire gate people who can moderate the intensity of their speech. The more they scream into their microphones the more echo and reverberation they produce and the less we the passengers can understand them.
• please avoid long-winded messages. They are not understood by most passengers. Stick to the basic information. For example: boarding all rows from 25 through 35. That is it! No need for frills.
• please regulate the pressure and flow of all toilet faucets (taps) in all your airplanes so they do not splatter all over your passengers when they try to wash their hands (not their shirts/blouses). This is very annoying and unnecessary. It does not require high technology to accomplish this.
• thank you for accepting me as a passenger.

I know all this sounds rather sarcastic but I could not help myself!

Queixas de um viajante

Se há alguma coisa que realmente me irrita solenemente é ter, na minha ausência, a minha mala de viagem invadida por alguma pessoa mal intencionada em algum aeroporto internacional. Uma violação da minha privacidade e uma violação da confiança depositada pelas organizações dos aeroportos e pelos seus superiores nessas pessoas que manuseiam os bens alheios.
  
Por algum motivo que me escapa, embora haja inúmeras razões inventadas, de vez em quando, e em alguma viagem internacional, a minha mala não acompanhada é aberta e vasculhada. Invariavelmente, quando chego ao destino, noto que falta alguma coisa.
É o roubo descarado, por vezes insignificante em valor, mas é o roubo de algo que faz falta quando é preciso.
  
Desta vez foi um cinto. Um cinto de "lona sintética" com fivela de plástico. Nada de valioso mas que foi posto na mala porque me iria fazer falta, além do cinto que levava comigo.  
  
Nas minhas viagens encontro sempre gente interessante. Por vezes esses encontros são recordados como as experiências mais marcantes dessa viagem. Esses são o lado positivo. O lado negativo são esses "roubinhos", que por muito insignificantes que sejam, sujam a imagem positiva que de outro modo eu preservaria de alguns povos que encontro nas minhas viagens.
  
Sei que generalizo, mas é a emoção e a impressão negativa que fica e mais perdura.